1032 Konoha FM
by ReignBeau54
Summary: Morning in Konoha is relatively peaceful. Birds chirp merry songs. Mothers get sleepy children out of bed by force if necessary …and Naruto awakens citizens with a loud -TTEBAYO! Wait, what? crackfic!
1. Dattebayo in the Morning

**Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are owned, written, and illustrated by ****Masashi Kishimoto****. **

**Time Period: Post-Sasuke Retrieval Arc, Pre-Naruto Leave Arc**

**Rating: K, T in later chapters because of swearing.**

_spazz- thoughts_

**spazz- emphasis on words**

spazz- music being played, lyrics

**Chapter O n e: **Dattebayo in the Morning!

Morning in Konoha is relatively peaceful.

Store owners start to open their stalls.

Birds chirp merry songs.

Mothers get sleepy children out of bed (by force if necessary).

…and Naruto awakens citizens with a loud -TTEBAYO!

(Wait, what?!)

"Ohayo gozaimasu Konoha! This is Uzumaki Naruto hosting Dattebayo in The Morning! DATTEBAYO! It's 7:00 and time to get up! If your out there Kakashi-sensei, I'm talkin' to you!"

A sleeping Kakashi sneezes in his sleep, and promptly bashes his alarm clock (the third one, I might add…)

"YEAH-TTEBAYO! To help you get up and get ready for the day, here is Haruka Kanata by Asian Kung-Fu Generation!"

_fumikomu ze akuseru_

_kakehiki wa nai sa sou dayo_

_yoru wo nukeru..._

"Yosh! This is fun, huh Sakura-chan?" Naruto said, grinning widely.

"Yep…your voice would sure wake those sleeping heads up…" Sakura said, checking if her ears were still working.

"Yeah! I--HEY!" Naruto said, realizing the joke and countering with a pout.

"Uh, people…" the producer said, sighing. "You're still on the air…"

Naruto and Sakura shrieked simultaneously, and an angry Sakura punches Naruto in the face. HARD.

"AHH! SAKURA!!" Naruto said, rubbing the bump that is on his head.

"Stupid…" Sakura said, still irate.

"People…you're **still **on the **air**!" the producer said.

"Oh, haha. Sorry! This is Haruno Sakura, giving you the morning's headlines for today. Lady Tsunade, Fifth Hokage, has issued a contamination warning for all Konoha sake bottles in possession by Konoha citizens. All sake bottles must be sent to the Hokage's office immediately to be quarantined.

"Knowing Tsunade-baachan, she probably is holed up in her office now quarantining…" Naruto said offhandedly.

"Naruto! Lady Hokage would do no--ehh, who am I kidding? You're probably right…"

In the Hokage's office, a giggling Tsunade is surrounded by thousands of empty sake bottles. What a coincidence…

"In other news, a big congratulations to Masuda Setsuko for winning the Miss Konohagakure pageant. However, after what was said to be an 'unfortunate accident' by Yamanaka Ino (stupid Ino-pig), Setsuko-san is in the hospital. Any flowers and gifts would be greatly appreciated.

Setsuko, in a full body body cast, moans in a hospital room.

"Ino, as the runner up, will be filling in for Setsuko-san in the Five Great Nations pageant being held in Suna." Naruto says.

_Poor Setsuko-san…_Sakura thinks. _Ino-pig, you are such a jerk!_

"Well, that's Dattebayo in The Morning for ya, and stayed tuned to 103.2 Konoha FM for all the latest music, gossip with Ino, and Trivia Time with Shikamaru! See ya soon!" said Naruto and Sakura.

ROCKS by Hound Dog playing

Yesh! Finito with the first chapter! What do you guys think so far? Please review. Constructive criticism is welcome, but nothing too harsh please!

_reignbeau54 out_


	2. Trivia Time With Shikamaru

**Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters are owned, written, and illustrated by Masashi Kishimoto. I do not own the Jonas Brothers either…**

**Time Period: Post-Sasuke Retrieval Arc, Pre-Naruto Leave Arc**

**Rating: K, T in later chapters because of swearing.**

**Chapter T w o: **Trivia Time with Shikamaru!

**A/N: **Wow, this has took me a while to update! After the 4th of July weekend, I was bushed…but now it is going to different. Updating will be as prompt as possible.

Special thanks to **roxxihearts, aly247, shinobilegend101, and Kiarra-chan **for the reviews! They are much appreciated.

_spazz- thoughts_

**spazz- emphasis on words**

spazz- music being played, lyrics

Shikamaru slowly sat down in the DJ's chair and sighed. _How they heck did I get myself into this mess…_He should have known when accepting this supposedly 'unimportant' mission from Tsunade he was asking for trouble. How troublesome…

cheery jingle chime

Even the jingle was troublesome…

The producer looked with awe with the pinapple-haired chuunin staring into space. "Uh, sir…you are suppose to start now…"

"Yeah Shikamaru!" Naruto said outside the glass window. "Do something ya lazy bum!"

Sakura just sighed. Getting Shikamaru to do things just because it is stated is like pulling teeth.

Shikamaru leered at Naruto and sighed. He would go through with this, anything to make the blond boy shut up…

In as enthusiastic as voice as Shikamaru can give (which is not so much), he said "Thank you for listening to Trivia Time With Shikamaru! The radio game show when you call in and answer questions to win a fantastic prize!" The lazy ninja looked over to the glass window, where Sakura was holding cue cards while Naruto was giving a thumbs up. How troublesome…

"By calling 555-4469, one lucky caller who gets through first would win a whole day with…" Shikamaru stretched to read the sloppy handwriting on the cue cards (probably written by you know who).

"…The Jonas Brothers. Whatever…"

Elsewhere in the Five Great Nations however, people were a little more happy.

"OH MY GOSH THE JONAS BROTHERS!!WHEE! I love them!" random women were screaming in the marketplace where a lone radio sat on top of some melons. People were pushing and shoving in the streets, trying to get to their homes so they could call in.

In Otogakure, however, a silver-haired medic nin was already on the phone, hoping for dear life that he would get that date.

"Come on, come on….me and the Jonas Brothers…yes!" Kabuto murmured, phone in one hand and his limited edition Jonas Brothers scalpel in the other…ahem. Yeah.

In Suna, an excited Temari screamed at her brother, who was fumbling with his cell phone to dail the number.

"ARG, KANKURO! Can you DIAL the numbers any FASTER?"

"WELL IF YOU WEREN'T BREATHING DOWN MY NECK, I WOULD _**WOMAN**_!"

Dead silence.

"I'm dialing faster now…"

In Konoha, Shikamaru was wary of answering a phone with a probably squealing woman on the other end. _Man, why do I get all the troublesome jobs… _Hesitating, he pressed the phone button and braced himself.

Silence.

Shikamaru took the microphone. " Your on 103.2 Konoha FM, Trivia Time Shikamaru here."

"I'm..I'm really on?" Kabuto said.

"Yep, you the lucky caller and on the air. For the others who tried so hard to win, fear not. Tune in tomorrow for another hour on Trivia Time With Shikamaru to win another Fa-BU-lous prize."

(Just so you know, Shikamaru was other reading that from cue cards. I wouldn't make him THAT OCC.)

Girls cried in Konoha when they dreams of a Jonas Brothers wedding were smashed to bits.

Kankuro cried in Suna when Temari, in a bling rage, smashed his cell phone to bits.

Kabuto did a happy dance when he found out he got through.

"All right, no celebrating yet now. Before you get that day with the Jonas Brothers, you have to answer three extremely hard questions!" Shikamaru said.

"Ok, then." Kabuto stated, positive that with his smarts he could win this.

"First question," Shikamaru yawned. "What is Lady Tsunade's favorite drink?"

In the background, Sakura slapped Naruto.

"You were supposed to make the questions HARD!"

"Man, Sakura-chan! That hurts!"

Back with Kabuto, he smirked over the phone and said "Sake."

"Correct…" said Shikamaru lazily, wondering how much longer this was going to take.

"Second question, what kekkei genkai does the Hyuga clan have?"

"Byakugan."

"Yep, that's right…" Almost done…

"The third and final question that would determine whether you get to spend the day with the Jonas Brothers is as follows…"

Kabuto was utterly confident. If all the questions were this easy until now, what would make this any harder?

"…what is Uchiha Itachi's favorite color? Wait, what?!"

Shikamaru, Kabuto, Sakura, and even the producer were all dumbfounded. Naruto smiled.

"Naruto…how do you know Itachi's favorite color…?"

Naruto was eager to tell the story. "Well once when I got real mad at Sasuke being a teme and always calling me dobe and being so cool and geniusy and stuff, I stuck into his house and found his dairy. He had it in there, along with a 5-page rant with how he was going to kill his brother but that's besides the point!"

Everyone just looked and him.

Meanwhile, Kabuto was panicking. How am I suppose to know what Itachi's favorite color is! I mean, I was a spy for Sasori and all but I kept my distance from the rest of them…

"SASUKE!!" Kabuto screamed. Our not so favorite traitor appeared from the other room.

"Hn."

"Do you know what Itachi's favorite color is?"

"Oi, why should I tell you?" Sasuke said cooly.

"Because!!" Kabuto whined. (A/N: Kabuto whining, what a funny thought.)

"Whatever…"then Sasuke left.

Stupid brat! GAH! The Jonas Brothers, slipping from my fingers…

"His favorite color is pink." A voice said at the doorway.

"Huh?" Kabuto said and turned around. Orochimaru, snakes and all, stood nonchalant at the door.

"His favorite color is pink. That's the color of his undies."

By this time, Sasuke had came back into the room, but made a beehive for the toliet after hearing the underwear comment. Kabuto however, too giddy to really care, proudly said "Pink."

Shikamaru rubbed his eyes to see if he was reading right, then stated in a very bored tone "Congradgulations, you won…the Jonas Brothers will be coming to your house in three seconds."

"What?! But I haven't even cleaned?!" Kabuto screamed. At that moment, The Jonas Brothers teleported into the snake lair.

"Whoa, where are we?" Nick Jonas said.

"Yeah, we were just rocking out one of our many tween concerts when we ending up here!" Kevin Jonas said.

"Chill, guys. We'll just rock out here." Joe Jonas said.

"YEAH!" his younger brothers chorused, and they started doing the song "S.O.S". Orochimaru was rocking out, Kabuto fainted, and Sasuke took away the phone from his hands and went to his room.

Whoop! Second chapter over. This one is longer, so I hope you reviewers will be pleased! Chapter Three will be Song Request with TenTen. That chapter will have a slight Team Seven love triangle with Naruto in the middle. Yum!

_reignbeau54 out_


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